How to Speak Confidently in the Moment

One of the greatest challenges when it comes to being heard at work is often communicating with clarity and confidence in the moment.

Those times when you’re put on the spot. For example, you might be asked:

• What do you think?

• Do you have anything to add?

• How does this sound to you?

Spontaneous communication can be even more challenging to handle than delivering formal presentations or prepared speeches, as we have significantly less time to prepare.

We're relying on our ability to think clearly and speak in a cohesive way, all within a matter of seconds.

In his book Think Faster, Talk Smarter, author Matt Abrahams says one of the key barriers to effective on the spot communication is that we approach it as a performance, rather than a conversation.

We try to get it right, rather than simply responding.

This generates performance pressure which increases nervousness and anxiety, in turn working against our ability to speak clearly and calmly.

Speaking with confidence on the spot can be particularly challenging for smart people.

Smart people have been trained to get things ‘right’. We’ve been rewarded for doing so. We’re well versed at working things out and following formulas and procedures. Our brains have been wired for ‘rightness’.

Each time we’re asked a question, we try to come up with the right answer. This means when we’re put on the spot and asked what we think, our brain automatically wants to speak in the right way, communicate intelligently or deliver our smartest response.

The trouble with this is that there is no right way to do it.

There’s just what you say and whether or not you actually speak.

If your brain is trying to work out the right response or the right way to deliver your words, it delays your ability to respond and this delay means you may miss the moment and end up not saying anything at all.

Given the ability to speak in meetings and to hold the floor with comfort and confidence directly relates to how others see your leadership capabilities, the ability to seize the opportunity to respond to questions, or to contribute in the moment is critical to career advancement and to building influence.

One way to do this is to change your perception of speaking in the moment.

Instead of seeing sponteneous communication as a time to impress and perform, approach it as an opportunity to connect and inform.

This means listening and responding without overthinking, and drawing on what you know, rather than searching to share something unique, right or smart.

While Abrahams provides a formula to help structure spontaneous communication, a good place to start is to simply be present, notice the habit of right-ness arising, then let go of your desire to impress and be correct. Aim to simply share what comes to mind. You can always preface your contribution with something like:

“This is not a fully formed idea but what comes to mind is…”

“My initial thoughts are…..”

“I’d like more time to think this through but what I’m currently thinking is…”

Practise responding from a more relaxed, and genuine, place of self-connection. Who knows? Your half formed thought may be the spark that kicks off the next big innovation.