You Are Enough
Your to-do list does not determine your value.
I'm a big fan of multi-tasking. Getting two things done at once gives me a great sense of satisfaction. When I go to the gym AND listen to a book my inner voice says "aren't you good - you're so productive - you're exercising AND reading at the same time."
I get this inner feedback when I walk the dog AND make a phone call, catch public transport AND get work done, watch TV AND catch up on social media - you get the picture.
The flip side to this super-state of productivity however is that the same applies in reverse.
If I feel 'good' when I'm super-productive, I can also feel 'bad' when I'm not.
If the newsletter doesn't get written, the phone call doesn't get made, the gym visit doesn't happen, the dinner is late and the early morning alarm is ignored, my inner critic gets triggered.
It may sound something like this: "today wasn't productive enough, you're falling behind, tomorrow you'll need to try harder - be better, more productive, more organised, more energetic". Arrgh! Exhausting!
Somewhere along the line I set up a rule that says a 'good' day - one that's super-productive with a perfectly ticked off to-do list - equates to being a 'good' person.
I wonder if this sometimes happens for you - that how you feel about yourself somehow got linked to how much you get done in a day?
The reality of course is that while a to-do list is a useful tool to help be more organised - it's not a measuring stick for your self worth.
When it comes to who you are and the value you bring to the world, there is no doubting this - your value doesn't change depending on how much you got done in a day. There is nothing you need to achieve in order to prove your self worth. You are already enough.
You don't need to walk AND listen to be valued.
You don't need to cross everything off your to-do list to be a good person.
You don't need to outsource your self worth to any activity, person, acomplishment or achievement.
You don't need to get anywhere, be anything, or climb any mountains.
You are enough.
There is always a long to-do list, more to do than time available, distractions, interuptions and diversions. You can set out to manage these as best you can. Become more efficient, set boundaries, drop the drama, put in place schedules, create personal rituals. These are all useful things. However living every day feeling fulfilled means taking full, personal control of your self worth - internalising it and not out-sourcing it to any activity, expectation or cultural norm.
No matter what happens, at the end of the day when you lay down to sleep, make the last thought you have one that reminds you - "I am enough".
Here are three short mantras I find helpful for this:
I am enough, I am loved and worthy, just as I am.
My value lies in my imperfections - not the perceptions of others.
I am grateful for all I am and all I have.