Cultivating Presence

Clarity Comes from Calmness and Connection

I've just finished reading Corey Muscara's Stop Missing Your Life - a fabulous book about cultivating presence.

It captured my attention as the quality of presence is a key ingredient for maintaining clarity when you speak, and for sourcing the confidence that comes when you feel comfortable in your own skin.

Muscara is a mindfulness teacher who spent 6 months living as a monk in a Buddhist monastery, meditating for 14 hours a day, not speaking, reading or listening to music and with no contact with the outside world.

Following his experience, he re-entered the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and decided to dedicate himself to bringing the peace and contentment he felt in the monastery, into the real world.

According to Muscara, the way to do this is to cultivate a sense of presence.

He says presence, as distinct from 'being present', is a way of being that allows you to fully embrace your imperfections, to get to a place of self acceptance, and to live with a sense of openness. Rather than turning away from difficult feelings or challenging circumstances, you recognise and welcome all of it - the ups, the downs, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Presence helps you connect to your authentic voice by letting go of self-judgement, breaking free from striving and proving, and stopping you living life hidden behind a mask.

When you are more present day to day, you are most connected to your authentic self and more comfortable living life fully self-expressed.

Just like turning each corner brings you closer to your destination, presence brings you closer to self connection and self expression.

How do you develop presence?
Muscara suggests working on four pillars to cultivate presence. He uses the acronym F.A.C.E. to explain these as follows:

F is for Focus - stabilize your mind.
Find activities that help reduce the amount of mind-wandering you do. Meditation, deep breathing, shifting your thoughts from 'what if' to 'what is' and focusing on one task at a time. The exercise in this short video I shared on Instagram is also a useful go-to activity to cultivate focus anytime you need it.

A is for Allowing - give yourself permission to be human.
Staying open and learning to be with difficult moments, rather than pushing them away, is key to staying in the present. Allow yourself to feel and notice all aspects of your experiences more fully.

C is for Curiousity - the antidote to fear.
Be a scientist of your own experiences. When you disappoint yourself, rather than beating yourself up, get curious. Ask yourself 'why is this happening?' ' how am I feeling?' 'where does this come from?' Curiousity doesn't have an agenda to fix you. Rather, it's about practising self-acceptance and embracing yourself as you are, helping you stay connected to the present moment.

E is for Embodiment - connect with your body
Letting go of your thinking mind and spending more time connecting to your body opens up a whole new source of information about who you are. Feelings get felt, tightness gets noticed and your intuition gets easier to hear. Muscara suggests body scan meditations, relaxing your body throughout the day (where are your shoulders right now?) and turning on all your senses - smell the roses, feel the trunk of a tree, listen to the sounds around you.

Just like any new habit, it takes practise to slow down your mind and cultivate presence as a way of being. Any small activity that moves you in that direction is a useful way to support self-connection and self-expression.