When Commitment Isn't Enough

What's really needed to take action

I've been thinking about commitment as an attribute for taking action.

It's often put forward as a key ingredient for generating results. The theory goes that if you really want something, as long as you're 100% committed, you'll take the action necessary to get it.

Motivational experts say things like: "The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment". Thanks Tony Robbins.

However, have you ever been 100% committed to something, and still found it hard to act?

You may have wanted a new job but remained stuck in the old one, wanted to end a bad relationship but compromised for comfort, or you may have wanted to take the trip of a lifetime but not initiated any action to make it happen.

You're inability to act may have then triggered self doubt - maybe I'm not committed enough? Maybe I don't really want it after all? Maybe it's not meant to be?

So you stop trying.

You give up and resign yourself to the status quo - the unfulfilling middle ground that sucks you in with it's temptation of 'good enough' - maybe this is good enough? Maybe I'm not meant to have everything I desire? Maybe I should just be happy with the status quo.

The frustrating thing is however your gut knows there's more. It knows you're committed.

So what's really going on?

According to Somatic Practitioner Sarah Baldwin, in this scenario it's not your committment that's lacking. Rather, it's that you don't feel safe to act.

Huh?

If your deepest desires were denied in the past, your wonderfully responsive and self-protective nervous system will have stepped in and created ways to keep you safe from experiencing any future hurt associated with expressing those desires.

One of these protective mechanism is to shut down any action that moves you toward them.

For example, if you had a desire to be seen, to use your voice or to feel a sense of belonging or intimacy, and these things were denied, your nervous system will react when you try to take action toward them. It will use protective strategies like going blank, shutting down, freezing up, panicking or avoiding, in an effort to keep you safe.

As a result, no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to will your way toward the things you want.

Feeling unsafe as a barrier to taking action toward the life you desire is a key theme that also comes up in How to do the Work by Dr Nicole LePera - a psychologist - and in Stop Missing Your Life by Corey Muscara - a meditation practitioner.

Baldwin, LePera and Muscara all agree that feeling unsafe to experience rejection, vulnerability, shame and instability is what keeps you stuck in inaction.

What helps?
Developing a greater sense of personal safety is key to getting unstuck. When you feel safe within yourself you begin to shift toward greater action. It's then that you begin to develop the ability to experience the fullness of your life.

According to the experts, there are numerous things you can do to help, including the following:

Meditation
Meditation expands the capacity of your nervous system to stay in the present without shutting down or getting overwhelmed.

Healthy eating
Eating well maintains good communication between your gut and your mind. The brain is then better positioned to reassure your body you're safe to act.

Sleep
Sleep activates your parasympathetic nervous system (the calming part of the nervous system), putting your body into a state of relaxation - a place of safety.

Breathing
Purposeful deep breathing is one way to actively decrease your heart rate and calm your mind.

Movement
When mind and body are linked in a safe place, such as during exercise, you widen the window of stress tolerance, helping to create a more expansive internal band of safety. Exercises such as yoga, that combine movement with the mind and with your breath, are particularly useful.

Play
Feeling joyful and experiencing freedom of expression through dancing, singing, playing a muscial instrument or dressing up brings forward pure happiness. It helps put you in a state of flow and ease, consistent with a feeling of inner safety.

Just like a trapeze artist trying a new move, to take action that stretches you beyond your comfort zone, you need a safety net to catch you. That safety net is a calm and centred nervous system developed with good sleep, regular meditation, purposeful breathing, play, movement and healthy eating.

Take care of you so you feel safe to take the action that will lead to your best life.