Hiding and hindering by holding back
Are you a nice person? Were you taught to use your manners, be polite, wait your turn and follow the rules?
This is useful advice as being 'nice' has many benefits.
Triple the Impact of Your Message
Last week I facilitated a small group session on speaking to be heard - how to deliver a message with impact. The theme was based on the premise that when you're wanting to speak and ensure your point lands, it pays to deliver your message clearly, concisely and in a way that's easy to remember.
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Your Voice is Seeded in Silence
If we spoke today and I asked how you were going, what would you say?
After ‘fine’, ‘great’ or ‘feeling unwell' would your next response be ‘busy’? Have you been flat out, chasing your tail, rushing toward deadlines, driving from one thing to the next?
Getting intentional about your voice
If you've seen the movie King Richard, one of the rituals you will have noticed is that every time Richard Williams takes his daughters Venus and Serena to tennis practise, they hang a homemade sign on the fence with this quote by Benjamin Franklin:
"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail".
Staying in your power and reclaiming the floor
One of the nuances of human conversation is our tendency to interrupt each other when we speak.
We find it hard to contain our excitement at contributing, adding or providing another opinion so we interject when we're listening to someone else speak.
With a school teacher as a mother and a headmaster as a grandfather, it's not surprising there were many rules in my family growing up.
There was no watching television during the day, leaving the dinner table without asking to be excused, saying anything unless it was something nice, and there was certainly no swearing or our mouth would be "washed out with soap"…
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Make your dreams bigger than your fears
My son Isaac was born with a condition called Spondylo-epiphyseal dysplasia. A bit of a tongue twister for what, in essence, is a type of short stature. His adult height is 140cm or 4ft 6inches.
Isaac's always had great friends and his height difference wasn't a social issue until he was around 6 years old and decided he wanted to play soccer.
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What to do when your thoughts disappear
One of the most memorable phrases shared by a coaching client last year was the challenge that every time she stands up to speak, her 'thoughts fly away like seagulls.'
It was such a brilliant metaphor and came shortly after I'd experienced a mind-blank - an occasion where I stood up to speak in front of a small group and nothing came forward - my words had unexpectedly packed up and deserted me.
From Fixing Up to Opening Up
Have you ever restored something old to make it new again? Renovated an old house to reveal its original features?
Refurbished an old car or boat to bring back its former glory? Or maybe, like me, refreshed a character infused worn chair to give it new life?
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Getting Your Point Across
Last week I was captivated by the powerful speeches delivered by Grace Tame and Brittany Higgins to the National Press Club.
Watching them speak, it was notable that they didn't mince their words, hide behind others or apologise for talking about topics that may make people feel uncomfortable.
Finding Strength from Within
Is it just me or do you ever feel you were born into the wrong decade?
Sometimes I think I belong more to the 1950's than the 2000's.
I love 1950's movies, fashion, Ford Thunderbirds and rocking around the clock.
How You Feel Reveals Who You Are
To kick the year off I'm delving into the value of feeling your feelings.
Having grown up in a family where difficult emotions were mostly covered up, ignored and brushed under the carpet, it's not been a topic I've felt particularly comfortable exploring.
How to Handle Difficult Questions
Are you heading off to a family and friends gathering this Christmas and rather than being excited about the prospect, you’re dreading the conversation?
If so, here’s a tool that will assist you handle difficult questions with power and grace.
Embracing Your Superpower
I loved super-heroes growing up.
Wonder Woman, Cat Woman and Superman were some of my favourites. While I enjoyed dressing up and pretending to be one I never thought I'd actually meet one - until last week.
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Connect to Your Purpose
Last week I ran a poll on social media asking people "what's the main barrier that stops you speaking up at work?"
The most popular response was worrying what other people will think. If you can relate, here’s how to stop.
Expand Yourself by Challenging Your Beliefs
If you're committed to leading your best life, always learning and growing, then one of the challenges you may brush up against is the power of your beliefs.
Beliefs are the filters you see the world through. They shape your reality and are powerful influencers of how you experience your life.
Everyday Daring as a Strategy for Action
Do you often find yourself wanting to do something and then find you don't take action? Despite your best intentions, when the time comes to act, you retreat, rather than move forward? Perhaps the thing you want to do feels hard - it brings up feelings of discomfort so rather than leaning into it, you pull back?
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Know, Trust & Listen to Yourself
Have you ever been told to "just be yourself"? Or to "turn up as yourself and everyone will love you"? or to "bring more of yourself to the table"? or similar phrases that imply the more you can simply be yourself, the better off you will be?
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Why Personal Power is Key in the Long Run.
If you've ever held back from speaking up and then shared your experience with someone, you may have been told "perhaps you just need more courage." Or maybe you've tried giving yourself a pep talk or adopting the Nike approach of 'just do it!' to propel yourself to take action.
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It's common wisdom that effectively managing your emotions is critical for being your best everyday. However, despite this, it's easy to let our feelings get the better of us. Taking the time to communicate your boundaries can help keep you centred and at your best.