Changing Your Mind

Liberate yourself from old beliefs

One of the most embarrassing moments I remember as a teenager was walking up the street with my mother and her noticing a young couple kissing on the other side of the road.

To my horror, she marched straight over and told them to stop their public display of affection or go home if they wanted to continue.

Returning to where I was standing in my frozen state of dismay, we then continued our walk home.

"No public displays of affection" was a rule in our household that was connected to what it meant to be lady-like - a guideline deemed appropriate for the times.

On a recent walk near the house I grew up, I was therefore bemused to come across the plaque shown in the image to the right.

It was a reminder that the rules and beliefs we might be encouraged to adopt on our journey through life are not rules and beliefs that are written in stone (in this case, the rule was re-written and mounted onto a different stone).

It is ok, and in fact it's useful, to change your mind.

Letting go of old beliefs, thoughts and ways of being that no longer serve you is a key part of finding your voice and expressing your authenticity.

Without this, you can be walking around with cement in your heart - heavy, weighed down and held back.

In his book Useful Belief, author Chris Helder says your beliefs create your reality. If you believe kissing in public is wrong, you'll be compelled to walk across the street to put a stop to any overt displays of affection.

But is this belief really true and is it useful?

To create more freedom for your authentic self to emerge, auditing your beliefs, asking if they're still serving you and being open to changing your mind if they're not, can be a valuable exercise.  

Here are some questions to help start the process:
Notice - where am I being stopped from expressing myself authentically?
Reflect - what's the belief that's getting in the way?
Get curious - where does this belief come from?
Challenge - is this belief still true for me?
Replace - what is a more useful belief I could adopt instead?

You can change your mind by letting go of old beliefs and allowing space for new, more useful ones to emerge... and you don't need a stone plaque to give you permission - just a pen and paper and some time for self reflection.